Day 4 - A little bit about me and my Army wife life

I joined the Army when I was 19. I remember going into the recruiter's office and asking them what I needed to do to sign up. Back then they didn't just take anyone, you had backround checks and such. I went and took the ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery) and afterwards went to go look at my options as far as a MOS (Military Occupational Speciality) went. They first tried to get me into Black Hawk Maintainence. Although I am a bit of a tomboy nothing like that interested me. Then they told me about the PATRIOT system. They showed me a video on the PATRIOT and I remember thinking that that was cool! They then preceeded to tell me that PATRIOT was the ONLY combat arms MOS that a female can get into. I was hooked! I went to Fort Leonard Wood (Fort Lost in the Woods), MO for Basic Training and I had a BLAST! NOTHING like you see in the movies! Unfortunetly I fractured my leg running and I couldn't graduate with my group. I did return after EXODUS (Christmas break). It took me 2 months to recover enough to run my PT (Physical Training) test and pass so I could go to AIT (Advanced Individual Training). So off I went to Fort Bliss (Hell Paso), TX. I was there for 8 months learning how the PATRIOT missle system worked and how to engage enemy targets. While I was there I met a fellow Soldier in the same MOS as me. We hit it off right away and I haven't been able to get rid of him since (LOL)! We "dated" from March of 2001 and were engaged by July 2001. Now I know some of you are thinking "Man, that's WAY too fast!" and you are right! In that kind of enviroment (where there are still Drill Sergeants and LOTS of rules) it's more lust than love. That is why you aren't supposed to "date" while you are training. I have seen people "fall in love" and 2 weeks later they get married. Then 6 months later they get it annuled! In August of 2001 Nick (the future hubby) graduated from Fort Bliss and got orders to go to South Korea. I was crushed! We did what we could to get his orders changed but nothing panned out. 2 months later, when it cam time for me to graduate, I found out that one of my classmates got orders to go to South Korea. I decided that this was a win-win situation becuase his wife had just given birth to their 2nd child so I changed orders with him. I went to South Korea and he stayed at Fort Bliss. As lick would have it Nick and I got stationed together at Kunsan Air Force Base. While we were there our chain of command threatned to seperate us, send one of us 3 hours north. We decided that we would get married and then have our wedding when we got back to the states. The American Embassy (which was 3 hours north of us) only married people on mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays so we decided that we would take a bus up, get married on Friday, stay there the weekend for our "honeymoon" and head back on Monday. Well, things didn't exactly work out. He was denied his pass for Friday so we ended going up on Saturday, staying the weekend and got married on Monday, March 25, 2002 which in and of itself was an experience! We got up at 9:00am and went to the JAG (Judge Advocate Office) to get all of our paperwork signed off on. The it was off to the Korean Census office. Just like here in the States you need to register to get married. Then we went to the American Embassy. When we walked in we pulled a number off of the wall like we were in line at a deli. After 10 minutes our number was called and we went up to the window. We told her that we were there to get married and handed her our paperwork. She then told us to have a seat and she would get back to us. We sat there for about 20 minutes. In my head I was thinking that the reason it was taking so long was because they were going to get a Justice or Judge or something. We finally got called up to the window. She handed us back our ID's and stamped a few papers and handed them to us and said "Congratulations". HUH?! That was it? I was a little confused and upset! Before we left we took out our wedding bands (because that was all that we could afford), said something that was like vows and put them on each other. We were in jeans and sweaters. I kept reminding myself that everything was going to be ok because we were going to have our wedding when we got back to the States. We went back down that day and went back to work the next day. I thought things would have been easier for us since we were now married. I was wrong. Both of our chains of commands knew that we were married but refused to cut us any slack. We still had to stay in our rooms with our roommates. We asked if we could move into a room together but we were told that we should think about all of the married people that were there that don't get to see their spouse and how it wouldn't be fair to them! To make a long story short we didn't get to live together as man and wife until we came back to the States 8 months later. Again, we were lucky enough to both be stationed back at Fort Bliss (Hell Paso), TX. I had only signed up for 4 years and right before those 4 years ended I ended up with really bad lower back aches. I was diagnosed with degenerative disc disease and bulging discs in the lumbar region. No re-enlisting for me. When I went to get out I was told that I didn't read the fine print on the contract. Even though I had signed up for 4 years, I was obligated to the Army for 8. I decided to go into the Active Reserves (1 weekend a month, 2 weeks a year). I knew that Nick was going to be a lifer so I decided it would be better for me to change my MOS. I asked what my options were and I settled on Dental Specialist (Dental Assistant). Now, I've never had a problem with dentists or anything like that, but I thought it would be cool to know what they were talking about when I go in! So I went to Fort Sam Houston (San Antonio) for a month. Now normally Soldiers stay in the barracks but I guess something was wrong with them hen we went so we had to "suffer" for a month at the Embassy Suites. The course challenging but interesting. I actually graduated with Distinguished Honor Grad. It was back to Fort Bliss and a string of jobs for me until Nick decided that he was going to change his MOS to MI (Military Intellegence). December 2005 Nick left for Fort Huachuca, AZ for 6 months to go through the Human Intellengence Collector course. I wasn't able to go with him because the course was too short. I stayed in El Paso and started to look for a DoD (Department of Defense) job in California because I knew that after Nick graduated from Ft. Huachuca, AZ he was required to go to DLI (Defense Language Institute) in Monterey, CA. After a LONG process I finally got a job out there. Now came the fun part.........my first move! Before when i was active it was different because I didn't have anything to move! Now I had a house full of stuff AND Nick wasn't there. I ended up going to all sorts of briefings to get the Army to move and I had NO CLUE what was going on. The best part of the Army moving us is that I really didn't have to do anything! They hire the movers and the movers come in and do EVERYTHING! They take the dishes out of the cabinets, pictures off the wall and eve the clothes out of the dressers. My main job was to log stuff like movies and CD's and then make sure that they didn't break anything. In January 2006 I made the trek from TX to CA with a trunk full of necessities, 2 dogs and a snake in an aquarium. Fun times, let me tell you! I was responsible for getting a house on post, get settled and start my job all by myself. In May 2006 nick graduated from Ft. Huachuca, AZ and joined me in Monterey, CA. We were there for a 1 and 1/2 years while Nick went through Arabic. In October 2007 we left Monterey, CA for our VERY first REAL duty staton, Fort Drum, NY. That's right, we drove from Monterey, CA to Fort Drum, NY. To top it off, Nick thought that it would be a good idea to move it all ourselves! No movers to come and pack things for me! now, when you decide to do a DITY (Do IT Youself) move you do make more money, for gas and food and such, but I'm telling you from personal experience, IT IS NOT WORTH IT! Never again will we do that! Before we left CA we thought it would be a good idea to get a travel trailer because that way we don't have to worry about getting hotel rooms or holding it til the next rest stop. We could just pull over whenever we wanted! Plus, we also heard that the housing situation at Fort Drum was pretty bad. There was a LONG wait list and the crappy thing is that you can't put your name on the wait list until you get there! In Novemeber 2007 we arrived to Fort Drum, NY. Now when I think NY, I naturally think NYC. That's not the case up here! Fort Drum, NY sits about 45 miles south of the Canadian border. There are a lot of farms and Amish out here and, like I was told shortly after I got here, they only have 2 seasons, Winter and the 4th of July. We had problems right off the bat getting housing. We were #187 on the waiting list so we had to stay in a hotel. We stayed at the Fort Drum Inn for a little over 3 weeks. Now, before I left Monterey, CA, I was told that in order to transfer to another DoD job all I had to do was to sign up for the Spouse Preference Program and I should have a job within 2-3 weeks. LIES! I was without a job for about 2 months and finally took a job at Target just to help bring money in. I wouldn't get another DoD job until February. In the meantime we couldn't keep staying in a hotel. We had 2 dogs, a snake and we had also aquired a guinea pig. We decided to rent a house. Unfortunetly the locals here knew of the housing situation and started to price gouge the Soldiers. Were talking $1200 for a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom duplex type gouging! We decided that it would be cheaper to buy, so that's what we did, but just like our move to CA, I had to do it by myself. Nick had orders to go back to Ft. Huachuca, AZ for BNCOC (Basic Non-Comissioner Officer Course) for 3 months. So he basically got here (in November), dropped me off and left (in January). I had to go house hunting on my own. Now, I have never had to do ANYTHING close to trying to buy a house but it needed to be done, so I put on my big girl panties and got 'er done. In February 2008, I bought our house while he was in AZ and he didn't see it until he came back a month later. Ahhhh, being an Army wife! Anyways, so this whole time I am still in the Reserves and my 2 weeks a year was coming up that June. I decided that I was going to re-enlist because everytime I went for the weekend drills I REALLY missed being in. I even went to go see about getting back in but because I was disabled with the VA, I would have to pay back all of the disability money I had gotten so I said no. Around the time that we left for NY, Nick and I had decided that it was time to start our family. In May of 2008 I found out that I was pregnant, and ONCE AGAIN, Nick wasn't here. This time he was at Ft. Polk, LA going through training for his upcoming deployment to Afghanistan. Once I became pregnant all thoughts about me re-enlisting went out the window. I know too many families where both mom and dad are deployed so they are raised by someone for a year, maybe longer, and it was important to us that at least one parent stayed here. In October 2008, I ETS (Expiration of Term of Service) from the Army. Nick was scheduled to deploy in December 2008 but his chain of command was kind enough to try and put him on the last flight out, which was scheduled for mid-January so he could be here for the birth. When I was 33 weeks pregnant, I slipped and fell and was admitted to the hospital. I was lucky to have fallen because it was discovered that our baby had VERY low fluid levels and if I had not fallen we wouldn't have known. I was admitted 3 different times for various reasons and the decision was made to take the baby early but the doctor wanted to wait until at least 35 weeks unless the baby showed signs of distress. I was able to make it to 35 weeks and Shannon Nicole was born on December 18th at 10:42pm weighing 6 lbs. 15 ozs and 20 inches long. Nick and I had been prepared for the worst due to the fact that she was 5 weeks early. The doctor said that she may have to stay in the NICU (NeoNatal Intensive Care Unit) for a few days up to a few weeks depending on her lung development. It turns out that other than her blood sugar being a little low, she was in perfect health! We stayed in the hospital for 3 days and then were released. Nick was able to stay for a month and on January 18th, one month to the day after our first child was born, Nick left for Afghanistan. It has been 4 months today since he left. Everyday gets easier and harder at the same time. I try and keep myself busy to pass the time. I volunteer with the FRG (Family Readiness Group) doing the monthly newsletter for the Soldiers and families and I am the Co-Treasurer and I pitch in where ever I can, organizing outings for us wives to go on so we don't get cabin fever or helping out with the care package parties. I also volunteer for the AFTB (Army Family Team Building) as an instructor and I do their quarterly newsletter as well. I am now also involved in a new magazine launching in the Fall called Army Wife Magazine. I will be a corresponant for the Ft. Drum happenings as well as doing an advice column called "Letters to Limerck" as well as helping out with a project where Army wives write letters of encouragement and advice to other Army wives about all things dealing with the Army wife life. I also will be enrolling into Park University to complete my Bachelor's degree in Psychology on top of raising my daughter. I know this time will pass but it always seems like forever when I'm going through it and after it's over and done with it seems like it went by fast. I know this was very long and I apologize for it but living the Army wife life isn't easy. I know a lot of people say that they don't feel sorry for us Army wives because this is the life we chose, but we don't choose who we love and, me personally, I feel that it's one thing to support the troops and quite another to love them!

P.S. And I just wanted to add this, Nick and I never had a wedding. I had made all sorts of plans and even bought a veil when we came back to the states, but then when I would ask him about it he told me that we were already married so why have the wedding?! I tried to fight it but we really didn't have money for a wedding. He kept telling me that we would renew our vows at 5 years. Well 5 years came and went. Now he says 10. Do I hear 15, 15 years anyone? Plus, how do you renew vows if you never said them in the first place? Does that mean that we aren't really married?